To all of those I've loved before....

Jul 18, 2022

A friend recently posed the question to a group - who have you lost this year?  Because we're recently out of covid lockdowns, my first 'go to' thought was to think of those I know that have died.  And for most, it's been a few.  And his question was deeper - who have you LOST yet they're still alive?  You're no longer speaking because of a family fight, political disaster, philosophical disagreements that one (or both) of you can't get past.  Are you still blinded by pain, heartache or just plain complacency and not maintaining the connection with 'those people'?  Yeah, I've had a few of those.  Ooof did that hurt!

My work to do is always MY work and no one else's (although, like Brene' Brown and her sisters, I often rage scream behind the wheel or under my breath for others to DO YOUR WORK!).  

This past year, I've lost a few people.  Former coworkers, former clients, friends (or so I thought) who've completely shut me out (or that's the story I'm telling myself).  After listening to Brene Brown's 'Rising Strong' again today, I'm reminded about 1) the story I'm making up, 2) I'm often the hero of said stories, 3) people are doing the best we can.  

My stories are often that I must have done something wrong.  Interesting considering before my entrepreneurship journey, I often thought OTHERS were doing something wrong - it's more internalized now.  People could have shut me out for a variety of reasons - connecting is no longer a priority for them (notice the absence of the preposition of connecting WITH ME), life has gotten busy, they're on their own journey, things could be going great for them and they're celebrating, things could be going awful with them and they're hiding out, they're deep into self reflection, they're hustling for their worthiness (work, meaning, whatever) and a million other things.  

My first coach used to liken our journeys to an elevator - you'll go up, some people fall off and others take their place.  I'd like to think that's true.  I'm someone who looks at the closed door often too long and analyze it though, both smart (at times) and exhausting.  

I deeply miss the people I don't talk with anymore, most of them anyway.  And I'm employing the 'no chasing' rule now.  For friendship, connection or even civility, I can do my part and we can work together if you're at least willing to meet me at some part along the way.  I can't be the one doing all the work (again, notice my story).  And when (or if) you text, email, message or contact me in some way, please know I'm here, I miss you so much and dearly hope we can connect again.  I've valued almost everyone I've worked with, known or connected with in my life, even if our connection was a hot mess.  I'm here, always cheering you on and want nothing but success, wisdom and peace for you!

How do you embrace your inner Elsa (from the Disney movie 'Frozen') and let go of the people you used to know deeply and what's your work still to do?  Bonus points if you knew the song for title of the post above!